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Sorry about the absence. I hope to be back by September 15 October 6, with a full explanation. Or, at least, a decent excuse.
Banny and Lissa spread the contents of both folders out on the coffee table. They sat on the couch, looked through the papers.
"Wobblin Toys?" Lissa tapped a sheet. "How is a toy company involved in an evil plot to gain ultimate power?"
"Evil toys? Dolls that come to life and attack you? Toy guns that really kill? Games that corrupt fragile little minds?"
"Sounds cool! Where do I get some?"
"This is serious, Lissa. This is very important. I just hope they'll let us play with the toys while we're there."
"Banny..."
"Not the evil toys... but... you know... So how do we do this?"
Lissa pulled out the top sheet. "According to this, a woman, Cheryl Jacobs, got killed on the job a couple of weeks ago. And a man, Charles Brant, disappeared three days ago. Since there are a couple of job openings Mr. Fwuzzums arranged to get us hired." She put down the sheet, blinked twice. "The dog arranged to get us hired. How in the hell did the dog arrange to get us hired?"
"I'm going to be a stripper," Banny said.
"What are you talking about?"
"That's what it says right here. Stripper."
"Let me see that." Lissa took the paper from Banny. "Position: Stripper. Duties: Strip paint, plastic, metals, and other materials which build up on jigs, part-holders, and stabilizers during various application processes."
"I wonder if I have to bring my own pasties."
Lissa rolled up the paper and bapped him on the nose with it. "Moron. Anyway, so what am I? I'm a floor supervisor. Neat! I'm practically boss. I rule. Wonder if I get my own secretary and stuff? HEY!! You make a buck fifty more an hour than I do!"
"Plus tips. Uh, oh. it says here I gotta be able to lift and carry over a hundred pounds. Sounds like I might have to do some actual work. Wanna trade?"
"No, but I'll trade salaries. Speaking of what they're expecting us to do, what are that blind chick and the dog expecting us to do?"
"It says here, 'evidence indicates the presence of one gonner, possibly more.' We have to find them, 'gain all possible information about their plans, and eliminate all gonners.'"
"Sounds like fun! Except for the part about finding them and gaining information about their plans. That part sounds boring. How we supposed to do that, anyways?"
Banny continued to read. "Hey! This is the eleven to seven shift! That's eleven pm to seven am! That's no good! We can't do that!"
"Why not? You're definitely not a morning person, Banny."
"That's not the point. Powerpuff Girls is on at two am. I'll miss it."
"Um... you can tape it? You already tape it anyway? At two you're usually fast asleep?"
"Oh. Right. Asleep. Hey, that reminds me." Banny grabbed the remote, hit rewind.
Lissa used to tease Banny about Powerpuff, until she started watching it. Buttercup was a true inspiration to her. And now that I'm getting powers, Lissa thought, I'll need a role model more than ever!
The tape hit the beginning, and Banny pressed play, then fast forward.
Lissa looked over at Banny. His movements were fast and jerky, as if he himself were in fast forward.
"Banny! What are you doing? What's going on?"
His movements returned to normal. "Whoa, Liss, you sound strange in slo-mo. I was trying to see if I could fast-forward, and watch tv in half the time. Didn't work. When you fast-forward a video there are static lines all across the screen, and no sound. I guess there are limits to our powers after all."
Go to Chapter 6: Right The First Time
Go to Chapter 8: First Night On The Job
Bring your friends into the Gonspiracy! Tell them about
Banny
And
Lissa
and get their eternal gratitude, and a chance to win $10,000 and a Sony DVD Player, because using your friends for your own personal enrichment, and having them owe you for it, is the gonner way!
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Dave Lerner Stories (note that to use the mailto you'll need to edit it in your 'send to' window. I apologize, but I've already lost one address to spam, and if I get inundated again, I won't have time to read your letters.) - All Rights Reserved. Note that this includes images of the Tricryptogon, and the name "Tricryptogon".