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Sorry about the absence. I hope to be back by September 15 October 6, with a full explanation. Or, at least, a decent excuse.
Antonio picked the lock on the "demon" bar front door easily enough . Lissa stood behind him, nervous about Banny's absence.
"He'll be here soon," she said. "He said he'd be here, right? He's just running late. He runs late a lot. Sometimes he doesn't show up at all. But he'll be here. He said he just had one or two things he had to do, then he'd be here. He does know where 'here' is, right? Should we wait for him outside? Where the hell is he?!?"
Antonio hoped he showed up soon, just to shut her up.
In the hall there was no demon residue, of course. Demons dissolve, dry up, disappear quickly after death. But the bouncer's clothes were gone. And clothes do not dissolve, they were taken away.
Antonio had two major worries: One, was this a trap? Was the room beyond filled with prepared, disciplined demons? Two, Would the Worthy Ones do anything to embarass him? Live or die, he had a reputation to maintain.
The outer door was thrown open. Banny strode in. Antonio's mouth dropped open in disbelief, and Lissa fell against a side wall. She looked down, slowly shook her head, and and said, "Banny, you friggin' bozo, what in the holy hell are you wearing?!?
"Don't use my real name, dummy! I don't want anyone to know who I really am!"
"I can understand why!" muttered Antonio.
Banny was wearing a superhero costume. It was a one-piece body-suit of thin see-thru leave-nothing-to-the-imagination red nylon, with white and blue lightning bolts. The mask covering the whole head and face and the gloves were not separate. Completing the outfit were white boots, a white belt with blue pouches, and a short white cape {coming only halfway down his back) with a blue lining. They barely noticed the several plastic grocery bags he carried. Banny spun around slowly, posed dramatically. "I am Fast Action Guy, da da daaa!"
Lissa came up face to chest with Fast Action Guy. "First, I can't put on a pair of stockings without getting a run, how do you expect this ridiculous outfit to survive one fight? Second, it doesn't hide your secret identity, it doesn't even hide your... anything. Which I don't really mind too much, but it seems to bother Antonio. Third, Fast Action Guy, you shouldn't have your superhero initials in red on the back of your cape. Now, take that off, or at least put on some underwear. We got work to do."
"I can't. There's no zipper. They had to sew me me into it."
Antonio stared at Banny's face, so he wouldn't stare at any other part. "What? How you supposed to eat, man? Or go to the bathroom?"
"Oh. I wish I'd've thought of that." A sense of urgency suddenly appeared on his face beneath the mask. "I really really really wish I'd've thought of that."
"They. Who's they? Banner Curran O'Herlihy, where did you get this thing?"
"There's this great costume shop over on Mass Ave."
"That's two blocks away." Lissa said. "You didn't walk two blocks dressed like that. Tell me you didn't walk two blocks dressed like that. He walked two blocks dressed like that."
Banny reached into a plastic bag. "But here, Lissa. I had one made for you, too."
Lissa took the scrap of fabric. It was light-brown as transparent as Banny's costume. It was a one-piece-strapless bathing-suit-style, but he'd left her enough room to carry a couple of extra basketballs in the bust if she needed to. The suit had a paw-print over each breast and a cat-head on the crotch. Like that wouldn't lead to some crude jokes. The little cat eye-mask was cute, though. Banny then opened a shoe-box with brown thigh-high stiletto-heeled boots.
"The costume has a hole in the back for your tail," Banny said proudly.
"My tail isn't this wide around. Or down that low."
Antonio said, "perhaps you should try it on."
Lissa said, "give us a moment, Antonio. I have to be mean to Banny. He deserves it." She sidled up against him, ran her hands across his nylon-clad body, whispered to him, "when we get home, darling, maybe I'll put that costume, and you and I can play Hero and Naughty Little Villainess." Then she pulled back, a mean little smile on her mean little face.
"How is that being mean to him? Oh, God, Banny!" Antonio shouted. "Cover that thing, will ya?"
Fast Action Guy held a plastic bag in front of him. Lissa asked, "Antonio, do you know where we're going, or should Banny point the way?"
Go to Chapter 28: Everybody Wants To Rule The World
Go to Chapter 30: Hot On The Trail
Bring your friends into the Gonspiracy! Tell them about
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And
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and get their eternal gratitude, and a chance to win $10,000 and a Sony DVD Player, because using your friends for your own personal enrichment, and having them owe you for it, is the gonner way!
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Dave Lerner Stories (note that to use the mailto you'll need to edit it in your 'send to' window. I apologize, but I've already lost one address to spam, and if I get inundated again, I won't have time to read your letters.) - All Rights Reserved. Note that this includes images of the Tricryptogon, and the name "Tricryptogon".