The Tricryptogon

Banny And Lissa
by Dave Lerner

Sorry about the absence. I hope to be back by September 15 October 6, with a full explanation. Or, at least, a decent excuse.


Take a look at the E-ditorials. You can even write one of your own.
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Part 2: New Friends And Old
Chapter 54: CSI (Coupla Stooges Investigate)

Late at night, in bed, Banny and Lissa talked. Lissa said, "hey! We'll talk Lizzie into taking the whole office to the beach. That way we'll all be in bathing suits, and we'll see who has a gon."

Banny asked, "what if the gon's on somebody's butt, covered by the suit? Or it's one of the girls, on her stomach, and she wears a one-piece?"

"Isn't there a nude beach around here? Okay, forget that idea. I don't want to see some of them naked, and I sure as hell don't want everybody to see me naked!"

Two hours later, in the apartment next door Mr Fwuzzums was talking with his human. "It is after two am, Corvair. I believe you can stop for the night."

The young woman sat in front of her computer, typing and reading. "I know they're lying. Mr Fwuzzums. That murder that happened yesterday. That young couple and their baby. The cops are lying."

"Technically, it happened two days ago now. Hm. We both know there is at least one gonner on the police force. Do you believe this incident to be gonner-related?" the oversized talking german shepherd asked.

"It benefited Panderson, to the tune of four hundred thousand dollars. That's the commission the Panderson agent made, when Taber sold to their client and not the Townsends. Gonners'll kill for a lot less. I don't know which agent, though. And I can't trust the police reports. We need to do our own investigation. I can make a few phone calls, but we need some face-to-face... We need the Worthy Ones!" She stood and headed for the door. Her dog moved against her leg, to stop her without tripping her.

"First of all, young lady, it is rapidly approaching twelve-thirty. O'Herlihy and Cheng are undoubtedly asleep. Secondly, I know you are excited, but society dictates that one does not call upon one's neighbor clad in slippers and nothing else." She knew she was naked, of course. In her excitement she just hadn't... realized."And that robe you are donning, as I have stated before, is too transparent to count as true clothing. Very well. Get dressed and let us go wake the Worthy Ones. I am certain that Cheng is delightful at this hour."

* * * * * *

Banny and Lissa both called in sick, though Lissa had to stop by the office to grab some paperwork. Duncan Kilner was just about to close a four hundred thousand dollar deal. A deal that involved Randolph Taber. Nicoletta's phoned Taber, and yes, he had been about to sell to the Townsends, good people, absolutely horrible what had happened. But he had to sell and now, even to a man who reminded him of a snail trail. He'd rather've sold it to the Townsends, of course. Even for less.

Following a technique learned from tv, Banny and Lissa canvassed the neighborhood. They talked to kids playing out front, and to people who were home during the day today and were likely to have been home yesterday. They pretended to be police, which was easy enough, because the real police hadn't been by. The witnesses who did see something had seen a tall skinny white man with blond hair. But he was far too innocent-looking to have done something like this. When shown the pic from the Pandersonewsletter two of them recognized Kilner.

Kilner had not taken his car. They talked to several bus drivers, and regular passengers. Kilner did take the 10:15 from the train station, though they did not track his movements back.

Nicoletta tracked down various utility and delivery companies. The cable man had been working on a line down the next street. He'd noticed that Kilner had changed his clothes between his arrival and his departure. The old shirt and the new were similar, but not the same. He also said that Banny's suit was much too dark for this time of year and Banny's tie did not go with his blond hair.

The two investigators checked out the apartment. The door was unlocked, there was no crime scene tape, even though the murders only happened two days ago. Some effort had been made to clean the place up. The walls had been washed and the rug shampooed, the furniture disposed of. But the smell, and much of the blood and gore, remained.

"I don't wanna do this," Lissa whispered. "Oh, God, I don't wanna do this." She altered her nose. Two days ago... Kilner was here. When the family died. In the bathroom he had washed their blood off him. She went out in the hall. Kilner had been there. Along with their traces, on his shoes, and on his hands she could smell it on the railing even after two days of traffic on his hands the man and the woman and the little bitty baby on his shoes and he just walked out walked he just...

Lissa, human again, sat on the bottom step. She had never met these people, never even seen them except for their picture in the paper two days ago. Banny put his arms around her.

She had to pull herself together. Call upon the cat. Cats aren't bothered by this crap. How would a cat react to that apartment?

Lissa realized it had made her hungry.

She ran outside and threw up.

Go to Chapter 53: Don't Blame Us. That's Why They Call Them Bad Guys

Go to Chapter 55: What A Mess

Bring your friends into the Gonspiracy! Tell them about Banny And Lissa and get their eternal gratitude, and a chance to win $10,000 and a Sony DVD Player, because using your friends for your own personal enrichment, and having them owe you for it, is the gonner way!
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