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Sorry about the absence. I hope to be back by September 15 October 6, with a full explanation. Or, at least, a decent excuse.
Lissa felt good today, for a variety of reasons. Well, she'd have to exercise later, burn off the calories from the food last night, but last night's exercise burned off more than its share.
Duncan wouldn't shown up to work today, probably because he was dead. Banny had offered to imitate his voice on the phone. Lissa didn't think he could mimic him, and asked for a demonstration. "Ciao. This-a Duncan Kilner. I won't-a be in-a the work today. I won't-a be in-a the work tomorrow. In fact, I never be in-a the work again. I'm-a leave-a the country suddenly, after I make-a the mess outta my apartment. Arrivederci. How was that?"
"Sucked. Kilner wasn't Italian, you bozo. He certainly didn't talk like Chico Marx."
"I can do French. And two types of German. Can't do Irish, for some reason."
"Kilner spoke normal!"
"Never tried Normal. Don't know if I can do it."
At work Lissa mostly tried to look busy. A thought occurred to her: Do we continue to work here? I begged her for this job, but now the gonner's dead and I don't need it anymore. Should we keep it, as a cover? But what if there's a scheduling conflict? I can't come to work today, I have to save the world?
Technically, that's about seven or eight thoughts or so, actually. Anyway, toward the end of the day Elizabeth Panderson asked Lissa to come into her office.
"Lissy, sit down. It's not anything bad. I'm just worried about Duncan. I called his house, his car, and his cell. I IM'd and emailed him. I tried his pager. Nothing. I even stopped by his apartment. There was no one home. Did he call you, by any chance?"
It's not anything bad. He's just dead! "No. Maybe he's just out on a call?"
"Lissy... can you keep a secret? I mean, I know you can, but I need you to promise."
Bet your ass I can. "Promise."
"Okay." A long pause as she tried to say this best. "You remember I quit Fflair Theatricals, because I wanted to do sales, and the sales department had a stated policy: No Fat Chicks. Well, I'd met Duncan at that time, and he told me if I had my own agency, I could do the discriminating. He helped me through the course, he had contacts that got me the loans I needed. Basically, Lissy, without Duncan, there'd be no Panderson Real Estate. He didn't want it to be Kilner & Panderson. For some reason he wanted a low profile. But it's my agency. He just helped me. A lot."
This is gonna get worse, Lissa knew. There's no way this situation can get worse, but it's gonna get worse.
"Anyway, about a month or so ago, it was all my idea, I mean, it's not that he didn't want to, but I wanted to and I'm the one who started it so he didn't force anything-"
"Hey, Lizzie, I'm gonna go grab a soda and a candy bar from the machines. I'll be back before you finish that sentence. Want anything?"
"Ha ha. Lissy... I'm having an affair with Duncan. We're keeping it secret so nobody in the office thinks I'm giving him special treatment. But I love him. I mean love him. And I'm certain he loves me back. I'm talking fairy-tale happy-ever-after love. I'm talking marriage, children, grow old together love. Nah, I got a Snickers bar in my desk."
"Uh... uh... are you... sure?"
Lizzie opened her bottom desk drawer. "Yeah. It's unopened. Oh. You mean Duncan. Yes. What's wrong? You're not jealous, are you? I mean, you and Banny seem so..."
"It's not that. It's just... how much do you know about Duncan? Really?"
"I know I love him. I know everything. But... he does kinda keep to himself. He seems like such a nice guy, but underneath, it's like there's this whole bad boy thing. It's a one-two combo. He just needs someone who can see beneath his skin, and still love him for it. You know."
I know I saw beneath his skin, and he had blood and bones and stuff. And I hated him. At that moment there was a knock. Banny called, "Lissa, you in there?"
Lissa jumped up, ran to the door, opened it. She whispered, "Banny, you gotta talk some sense into Lizzie."
"About what?"
"Uh... I can't tell you. It's a secret! But it's really, really, really bad."
Go to Chapter 58: A Long Way Down
Go to Chapter 60: The Great Lesbian Experiment
Bring your friends into the Gonspiracy! Tell them about
Banny
And
Lissa
and get their eternal gratitude, and a chance to win $10,000 and a Sony DVD Player, because using your friends for your own personal enrichment, and having them owe you for it, is the gonner way!
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Dave Lerner Stories (note that to use the mailto you'll need to edit it in your 'send to' window. I apologize, but I've already lost one address to spam, and if I get inundated again, I won't have time to read your letters.) - All Rights Reserved. Note that this includes images of the Tricryptogon, and the name "Tricryptogon".