The Tricryptogon

Banny And Lissa
by Dave Lerner

Sorry about the absence. I hope to be back by September 15 October 6, with a full explanation. Or, at least, a decent excuse.


Lissa: Ohmigod! I've got four boobs! No, six!!
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Part 2: New Friends And Old
Chapter 33: A Very Nice And Helpful Pervert

When they reached Ronnie's apartment, before Antonio could press the buzzer, Lissa said, "wait a minute!"

"What?"

"I'm not going up to meet with a known pervert! Not when I'm a known girl, and this pervert stalks girls. You two non-girls can go. I'll stay out here on the city street in the middle of the night, where it's safe."

"That is a good point, chiquita," Antonio conceded. "I had better not go either. My beauty has lured stronger men to temptation."

"I ain't gonna meet the pervert alone!" said Banny.

"Go," replied Antonio. "You and he may have much in common."

"Yeah," added Lissa. "You might."

Banny pressed the buzzer. A deep voice asked who is it over the intercom, and Banny gave his name. "Whatcha want?" the voice asked.

"We need help only a pervert can give us. Are you a pervert?"

"It's just a hobby. Whatcha need?"

"The name and address of a woman. You know her from work. Antonio, describe her." He did and the voice told them to wait just a moment. Five minutes later the intercom crackled again.

"Okay. Vanessa Chanderes. 131 South Fulton Street. Newton." He gave them her home phone and cell phone, she had no work phone that he knew. "Her favorite song's Glass And Steel, by Wishful Thinking. Watch out for this chick, though. I get some baaad vibes offa her."

"Okay, thank you. Hey, why won't you let us up?"

"Let perverts inta my apartment? What are ya, nuts?"

As they left Banny said, "I thought he was a very nice and helpful pervert."

* * * * * *

131 South Fulton Street, while not quite a mansion, definitely qualified as 'really freaking nice'! It reminded Banny of the house his family had moved to just after Dad had made his first million. It reminded Lissa of her old childhood toy, a Barbie Town-House. It reminded Antonio that sometimes looting can be the most profitable part of Demon Tracking.

The three sat in Banny's car out in front. "Antonio, does this place look familiar? From the other night?" Banny asked.

Antonio thought for a second, trying to remember, then glared at Banny. "How the hell would this place look familiar, you squirrel-brained buffoon? I wasn't here the other night! I was in Boston!"

"Banny, pull into the driveway and park. We'll check out this house, and for god's sake, Antonio, try to find something you do remember! Banny and I been doing all the work here, it's time you started pulling your weight!"

Antonio decided not to say anything, though he did splutter a bit. They went up to the door, rang the doorbell. After less than a minute the door opened. The young woman who opened the door was not Vanessa. She said hello? and a heart-beat later Antonio knew she was a demon. He took out his gun, pointed it at her, and pushed his way in. In the living room were two demons, two apparent human men, and Vanessa. They'd been having a meeting. One human man was definitely a demon. The other probably wasn't, but, thought Antonio, he might be. I might be wrong. If so, I called it beforehand, so I'm right about being wrong, so I'm right. So that's okay then.

Vanessa stood. "Antonio. You're still alive.Wow! And you brought reinforcements. I'm flattered. Of course, if you think those two are good enough to be reinforcements against me, I'm insulted, you jerk! But, hey, you're smart enough to have the place surrounded, lots of trackers ready to burst in and help you. These two are, like, just a couple of expendable pendejos, right?"

"You're wrong!" Banny snarled. "He is not smart enough, and no one is coming to help us! So HA!! You don't know everything!"

Wincing, Antonio said to the Worthy Ones, "okay, remember what I told you two. It's important."

Banny asked, "you mean about how you're the greatest person who ever lived on the whole planet?"

"I meant about fighting demons. Though that 'greatest person' stuff's important, too."

Go to Chapter 32: When Banny Met Lissa

Go to Chapter 34: Fight! Fight! Fight!

Bring your friends into the Gonspiracy! Tell them about Banny And Lissa and get their eternal gratitude, and a chance to win $10,000 and a Sony DVD Player, because using your friends for your own personal enrichment, and having them owe you for it, is the gonner way!
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