![]() ![]() |
Sorry about the absence. I hope to be back by September 15 October 6, with a full explanation. Or, at least, a decent excuse.
"Wake up," said Lizzie.
Banny and Lissa each woke up instantly. They each were chained to a brick wall.
The wall had a number of large metal rings set into it. These rings all had long strong chains dangling from them, the same as the chain that looped each wrist of the Worthy Ones. The chain was then padlocked to itself, with a bit of excess dangling free. A lot of excess, in Lissa's case; she had thin wrists. They were naturally thin; she didn't do any special wrist diets or exercises.
Banny tugged against the chains. He couldn't break free. Not without straining and effort and sweating and maybe not even then, so why bother.
Looking around, Banny and Lissa saw they were in a large unfinished basement. Pipes, water heater, washer and dryer, stored boxes, hatchway, torture equipment and wall of bondage... Yup, typical basement. Lizzie stood in the center of the room, Victoria next to her. Without a word, body language alone, Lizzie was obviously in charge. Remember how Victoria was like a child on Christmas Eve? Well, now she was a child on Christmas morning, waiting for Mommy to let her open her first present.
"What the hell's going on here?" Lissa asked. "Lizzie, is this a joke?"
Lizzie answered, "let me explain this as simply and as condescendingly as I can." She untucked her blouse, unbuttoned the bottom two buttons, showed just above her navel... the Tricryptogon. "I'm a bad guy. You were supposed to kill me before I kill you. You failed, of course, and now you two will die, rather horribly. Questions?"
Lissa tried to ask, "how... when... why... but...?"
Lizzie said, "Any coherent questions? God, Lissy, I swear. I'm just glad I don't have to pretend to be your friend any more."
"When did this happen?" Banny asked, demanded. "When did you turn? Was it Duncan?"
"Score one for the himbo. Yeah, Duncan offered me the chance. I was stuck working at Fflair, he saw something in me... I was going through a tough time then and you, Lissy, were so busy with your boyfriend you couldn't spare a moment to help me, after all the times I'd helped you over the years."
Lissa's eyes filled with tears. "That's not..."
Banny started to say something, and Lizzie interrupted. "Yes, gonners lie. If it suits us. We also tell the truth. When the truth is crueler."
Banny said, "but if you're evil, why did you help us? Why give us jobs? Why bring my father and me back together?"
"Your father is why I did all this. Desmond O'Herlihy is rich, wealthy, and has lots of money. Three wonderful qualities. Some people are even talking about him running for governor. Then maybe president. Even if he doesn't, he's a leading businessman, owns billions in companies and property, he's powerful enough to be a prize catch. And you were going to help me catch him. That's why I needed you, Banny. And that's why I needed you and Daddy Morebucks talking. So I could get a connection to him." She pointed to Lissa. "That little skank was just excess baggage. I was going to skrag her, and get you on the rebound. Then skrag you, and Daddy and I commiserate, fall in love, I live happily ever after. I could still make that part happen."
Banny said, "wouldn't work."
"Why not? Lissy scored you on the rebound. Anyway, that's what I was going to do. Until Duncan died. You see, I have a key to his apartment. And when I couldn't get in touch with him, I went over there. Your fingerprints were all over the place. Literally. I had the place cleaned up, didn't want questions asked I can't answer, and I realized Lissy was either a gonner or a Worthy One, since only a gonner or a Worthy One can kill a gonner." She turned to Victoria. "I think I told you already. We gonners can't recognize each other by sight. But you can sometimes tell by other ways." She looked back at Lissa. "I'd seen the ring, of course, but it wasn't labelled 'Ring of Beneficience, and I didn't know what they looked like, so I couldn't take a chance. That's why I gave you that whole story about being in love with Duncan. To see how you reacted. You were guilty, remorseful, sympathetic... Those aren't gonner emotions. You tried to hide it, but you never could act even if your life depended on it. Which, though you didn't know it, it did."
Lissa just stared in shock. Banny continued the questions. "How did you mind-control us? Was that a gonner power?"
"Hm," said Victoria. "They are stupid."
"For these two, that's actually smart. Yeah, I can control minds, among other powers. The effects don't last long, but still... Oh, and I can't make them do anything against their basic nature, so I guess they really wanted to get rid of the rings."
Go to Chapter 60: The Great Lesbian Experiment
Go to Chapter 62: Going, Going, Gonner
Bring your friends into the Gonspiracy! Tell them about
Banny
And
Lissa
and get their eternal gratitude, and a chance to win $10,000 and a Sony DVD Player, because using your friends for your own personal enrichment, and having them owe you for it, is the gonner way!
Home |
The Most Recent (Mis)Adventure |
Notes |
E-ditorials |
Letters |
Fan-Art |
The Message Board |
The Store |
Links
Copyright © 2003
Dave Lerner Stories (note that to use the mailto you'll need to edit it in your 'send to' window. I apologize, but I've already lost one address to spam, and if I get inundated again, I won't have time to read your letters.) - All Rights Reserved. Note that this includes images of the Tricryptogon, and the name "Tricryptogon".