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Sorry about the absence. I hope to be back by September 15 October 6, with a full explanation. Or, at least, a decent excuse.
"So why did Rosemary attack us?"
"Gonners craves power. Earthly power. Perhaps Rosemary saw you as a stumbling block along her path to ultimate power."
Banny said, "she was trying to take over the community theatre."
"Of course, some gonners are just plain stupid."
Nicoletta continued. "Mr. Fwuzzums and I will be your 'handlers', as it were. I'll spend much of my time searching for gonner activity. When I find something for you two to investigate we'll let you know."
"And I shall use my extensive range of contacts to help you 'get your foot in the door'." Mr. Fwuzzums added.
"You may also ask us for help during your missions. We've rented the apartment next door. I'm surprised at how cheaply we're getting it, actually. Anyway, we'll be finished moving in today. I've already set up my computer, and some of my bookcases."
"Cheap? Really?" Banny asked. "'Cos this place was major expensive when we moved in. Seems like everywhere I live, property values drop like rocks."
"They usally go back up after he leaves, though." Lissa added.
"I just thought of something." Nicoletta gestured. "Banny, could you come here a moment? I'd like to know what you look like." He came up to her, placed his face against her upraised hand. "Hmm, your hair is really thick. What color is it?"
"Blond. Uh, and I have green eyes. And freckles."
"And dimples, too." She continued to feel. "Strong chin... and these shoulders! Do you work out?"
"I think," Lissa said icily, "you have a good enough picture of what Banny looks like. And you watch where you put those hands when you 'look' at me. I suppose you want to do that now?"
"Why does it matter what you look like?" Nicoletta asked.
Banny said, "Lissa, 'watch where you put those hands'?"
"Aw, hell! I never talked to a blind person, before."
As if she'd said this literally hundreds of times before, Nicoletta said, "Look, just speak the way you'd normally speak. Don't worry about words or expressions like 'look', or 'you see'. Just treat me as you would anybody else."
"Well, in that case..." Lissa said, and she leapt at Nicoletta, grabbing two handfuls of hair. "If I ever catch you feeling up my boyfriend again, I'll put my foot so far up your ass I'll kick out your teeth! You hear me, bitch?!?"
Mr. Fwuzzums set to attack Lissa, and Banny moved well back. Lissa let go.
Nicoletta patted down her hair with her hands. As she rubbed her eyes and straightened her glasses she said, "on second thought, feel free to treat me as a fragile little blind girl."
"No," Lissa said, seemingly much calmer. "You were right the first time. Your way is much better."
"Natheless, Cheng" Mr. Fwuzzums stated in his most threatening tone, "Attack Corvair again, and you shall answer to me."
Banny stared down at the angry dog. "Oh, yeah? Well, if you attack Lissa, then fifty bucks says she kicks your tail, too."
Nicolleta had removed a tissue and a comb from her back-pack. She had just finished with the former and started with the latter.
"People! And I include you, Mr. Fwuzzums. We need to hand out the Worthy One's first assignment." She handed Banny and Lissa each a manila folder. "Read it, and learn it. You begin today."
* * * * * *
Back in her own apartment Nicolleta felt around a half-filled bookshelf and pulled down a braille dictionary.
"What are you looking up, Corvair?"
"'Worthy'. Obviously, the word can't mean what I thought it did."
Go to Chapter 5: Well, That Explains Everything
Go to Chapter 7: Toy Story
Bring your friends into the Gonspiracy! Tell them about
Banny
And
Lissa
and get their eternal gratitude, and a chance to win $10,000 and a Sony DVD Player, because using your friends for your own personal enrichment, and having them owe you for it, is the gonner way!
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Dave Lerner Stories (note that to use the mailto you'll need to edit it in your 'send to' window. I apologize, but I've already lost one address to spam, and if I get inundated again, I won't have time to read your letters.) - All Rights Reserved. Note that this includes images of the Tricryptogon, and the name "Tricryptogon".