The Tricryptogon

Banny And Lissa
by Dave Lerner

Sorry about the absence. I hope to be back by September 15 October 6, with a full explanation. Or, at least, a decent excuse.


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Part 1: Ante Up
Chapter 8: First Night On The Job

Lissa parked fairly close to the main entrance. The factory was about half an hour from their apartment, so even with getting lost twice, and stopping for coffee at the twenty-four hour Cumby's, they were less than an hour late.

Even though all the other cars were also as close as possible ( people work as hard as they can to make things as easy as they can) the night shift is so small that they still got what would have been, during the day or even the evening, a great spot.

Of course, Banny and Lissa still whined about the distance they had to walk.

"I knew this job would mean hard work," Banny muttered.

INSIDE, THE PLACE WAS NOISY!! AND BUSY!! VARIOUS MACHINES POURED, SPUN, CHURNED, OR WHO KNEW WHAT!! PEOPLE RUNNING AROUND, RUNNING THE MACHINES, SHOUTING!! BANNY AND LISSA EACH GRABBED A PACKET OF EAR-PLUGS FROM A BUCKET BY THE DOOR!! LISSA READ THE DIRECTIONS, ROLLED ONE OF THE LITTLE RUBBER CONES TIGHT, AND INSERTED IT IN HER EAR! THEN SHE REPEATED WITH THE OTHer cone for the other ear. She could still hear all the noise, but now it was down to a manageble level. Banny, thinking the ear-plugs were free candy, CHEWED AND SWALLOWED THEM BOTH!! HE THEN WENT BACK TO GRAB A FEW MORE PACKETS FOR LATER!! THEY WERE GOOD, IF A LITTLE RUBBERY!!

Lissa met with Mr. Meadowbrook, the night foreman. Meadowbrook was a tall gangly man, with a whiny voice that always sounded like he was complaining even when he wasn't. "Lissa, I've scheduled an hour's orientation for you," he complained. "Unfortunately, you were late, and the hour is just about up. That's Pam, there." He pointed to a short blonde by a large machine. "She'll tell you what you need to know," he whined. He walked to his office. Even his walk was sniveling.

"Pam? I'm Lissa. I guess I'm in charge here. So what am I doing?"

Pam smiled. "Hi! You're the new floor boss, right? This'll be a lotta fun, you'll see!!" She was slightly overweight, and even though she must have been about forty-five she had the energy and exuburance of a girl, one-third her age, who'd just made the cheerleading squad.

Lissa hated her on sight, even more than she hated most people on site.

Meanwhile Banny had met Arnold Schwarzenegger at age 20. He wasn't really Arnold Schwarzenegger, of course, but he had the same muscular build, the same lantern jaw. Banny was disappointed when Arnold said, without his trademark accent and with just a hint of a mid-west twang, "Hello, You must be Banner O'Herlihy. I'm Charlie Coals. Call me Chuckie." He shook Banner's hand with a grip that was careful not to crush it. "I'll bet you wanna get started right away!"

"You' d lose."

Not-really-Arnold led Banny down a hallway, then stopped. "Listen a moment. The job's not really dangerous, but there are a few things you'll need to watch out for. You'll be dealing with strong acids, crushers, and a walk-in oven that can go up to over three thousand fahrenheit!"

"And that's not dangerous?!?"

"Nah. You just have to follow all the safety procedures. No short-cuts, and no fooling around. You'll be fine if you just have a little bit of common sense."

"Oh, okay, then," Banny said. "I've got common sense." He took a packet of ear-plugs out of his pocket, opened it, and popped them in his mouth.

Chuckie gestured to a large metal box, about seven feet high by seven feet wide by seven feet deep. "This is the walk-in oven. We use it to burn off paint and plastic that accumulates on various metal holders. Now, and this is very important, as I told you, this oven gets up to over three thousand degrees, so if you want to cook a frozen pizza in here, set it to low. I learned that the hard way."

He led Banny out a side door, into a small shed. "Here, Banner. Put these goggles on. No, on your head. This is a vat of diluted acid. We use this to strip off the stuff that bakes onto the jigs after... uh... baking. Anyway, this vat is never drained, so, if you drop anything in there, even if it survives, it's gone. Learned that the hard way, too. I'll show you the crusher, next. You'll love it."

"Why's that?"

"Haven't you ever wanted to flatten a quarter, so that it's as wide around as your palm, and sharp enough to slice through a feather pillow?"

Banner paused for a moment, his eyes misting. In a whisper he said, "That has always been my life-long dream."

Go to Chapter 7: Toy Story

Go to Chapter 9: Hi Ho, Hi Ho

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