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Sorry about the absence. I hope to be back by September 15 October 6, with a full explanation. Or, at least, a decent excuse.
Banny had severe dehydration and minor first degree burns burns on his hands, right shoulder and upper arm, and knees. Fortunately his lungs healed fine, and he was released two days later. Lissa received stitches for the gun-fun mold wound. No other injury was, in and of itself, serious enough to warrant medical attention. At the hospital Lissa went into the bathroom and pulled out her tail. It hurt, but didn't seem broken.Good, because she didn't know whether to take it to a doctor or a vet.
Lissa had recovered rapidly. She had learned that, although tiring, tranforming from human to cat and back slightly accelerated healing. Unfortunately for Banny, him speeding up time did not improve his healing rate. So all he could do was drink plenty of fluids, rest, and watch a lot of TV.
Okay, maybe 'unfortunately' is not the right word...
Pam had been arrested, and Mr. Meadowbrook put the blame for everything that happened that night on her. Banny's baking, the shed explosion, everything. Banny and Lissa each decided not to pursue an attempted murder charge; they thought it would raise too many questions, and besides, in court Banny would have to wear a suit and tie, and Lissa would to have to see Pam again. So Pam pleaded Guilty to three counts of Murder One (Cheryl, Toni, Betty), one count of Murder Two (her husband), and one count of Murder Three (Charles "Chuckie" Combs), for a total count of Murder Eight, as well as one count of Destruction of Private Property and one count of Endangering Corporate Profits.
Four days after Chuckie's death, Banny and Lissa were over in the next apartment with Nicoletta Corvair and Mr. Fwuzzums, the blind woman and the dog who, in addition to being their neighbors, were also their bosses.
"It looks like your friend Pam was not a gonner," Nicoletta said. She sat in front of a sophisticated computer with a Braille readout. "Her psych profile is totally wrong, and she doesn't have a gon tattoo. At least, according to her prison files."
"I've looked at her examination pictures, and I didn't see one." added the German Shepherd.
Banny asked, "You can hack into the prison's computer system?"
"No. I got this off their web-site."
"Wait a minute," Lissa said. "They post all that stuff on their web-site, private files and all, where everybody can see them?'
"Not everybody. It's a pay site."
"Why would... " Lissa stopped, and started again. "Why would anybody pay for that?"
"As I mentioned, there are pictures."
Banny asked, "You got the address?"
Lissa shot back, "www dot I'll rip your lungs out and feed them to the dog you filthy pervo dot com!"
"Is that all one word, or with underscores?"
"Leave the dog out of this," said the dog. "Anyway... O'Herlihy, Cheng... I believe I would like a more expanded version of your reports."
"I gave you my report," Banny said, drinking some blue soda. He still hadn't got back his strength, still was dehydrated, and still ate and drank weird stuff.
The German Shepherd stared at the tall blonde man sitting on the couch . Mr. Fwuzzums spoke slowly. "And what a brilliant report it was. Enviably succinct. I was so impressed I took the liberty of committing the entire report to memory. How did it go? Ah, yes. 'Ouchie! It got hot!' Did I forget anything?"
"I don't think so. I could check."
"Please listen to me, O'Herlihy. There is much we do not know about the gonners. Much we need to learn. Something that gonner said or did may have given you a valuable clue to something. You might not even realize you have this clue, but someday it may save your life."
Banny looked at the dog blankly. "I have a clue?"
Long pause.
"Apparently not. Cheng, I would like to talk to you. "
"That's okay, dog-boy. I gotta few questions myself! Like why is the all-powerful, all-wonderful, all-perfectful Good a sexist pig?"
Go to Chapter 21: Bustin' Loose
Go to Chapter 23: The Physics Of Magic
Bring your friends into the Gonspiracy! Tell them about
Banny
And
Lissa
and get their eternal gratitude, and a chance to win $10,000 and a Sony DVD Player, because using your friends for your own personal enrichment, and having them owe you for it, is the gonner way!
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Dave Lerner Stories (note that to use the mailto you'll need to edit it in your 'send to' window. I apologize, but I've already lost one address to spam, and if I get inundated again, I won't have time to read your letters.) - All Rights Reserved. Note that this includes images of the Tricryptogon, and the name "Tricryptogon".