The Tricryptogon

Banny And Lissa
by Dave Lerner

Sorry about the absence. I hope to be back by September 15 October 6, with a full explanation. Or, at least, a decent excuse.


Demons ruined Antonio's 'cat-girl' fantasies, and for that he would never forgive them!
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Part 1: Ante Up
Chapter 23: The Physics Of Magic

"What?" asked Mr.Fwuzzums.

"I said the good guys are sexist, against women." said Lissa.

"I certainly never noticed that," answered Nicoletta. "And I've worked for the Good for years."

"Are you in charge, or is it the male Mr. Fwuzzums?"

"I am, but I have many years seniority over Corvair. I was an agent of the Good before she was born. If it matters, my Over-Guardian has more female aspects than male. "

"Whatever. Well, why did Banny get better powers than me?"

"Your powers are wonderful. It is simply a matter of learning to use them. And you already have used them, to kill two gonners. Besides, your powers are still growing."

"Yes, Cheng. You stated that now you can shift clothing, you have your intermediate forms, and you can heal yourself by transforming."

Banny spoke up. "Hey! I can't do any of that stuff! And I haven't killed any gonners yet! Hey, how come the Good's prejudiced against men?"

Much less certain, Lissa still pressed on. "Um... uh... Well, what about what Chuckie said? He said the Good gives men more power than women!"

The blind woman coughed for a moment. "Excuse me. Now, this was Chuckie, the pervert (your word) gonner who had just attempted to murder Banny? Chuckie, who was trying to persuade you to become a gonner at the time?" A slight smile. "Whenever a man wants something from you, do you always believe everything he says, no matter how outrageous?"

"Yup," said Banny happily. "She's great that way."

Lissa clenched her teeth. And her fists. "Banner. Change. The subject. NOW!"

"Speaking of changing the subject, why are my powers so weird? I can dent steel with a punch, but I can't bend it in the slightest. And I can dent steel with a punch, and not break every bone in my hand, but I still get burned?"

Mr. Fwuzzums stretched. "Ah, the physics of magic. A fascinating topic."

Nicoletta stood up. "I have some... work I have to do in the bedroom. It might take a while. A long while. I won't be back until the lecture's finished. I hope." She grabbed her cane and moved surprisingly quickly for a blind woman. Surprisingly quickly even for a sighted woman. In point of fact, she ran. From the bedroom they heard a crash, and, "OW!! I'm all right!"

"That woman is a philistine."

"Oh? I'm Catholic, and Lissa's a Baptist. What are you, anyway? If I can ask."

"What you do, O'Herlihy, is speed up or slow down the rate of time for an area around you. With practice your range and control will increase, you will be able to move time even faster or slower and for a longer duration, and the effort needed will decrease. When you... O'Herlihy! Please do not slow yourself down to make this lecture go faster, because you need to know this, and if you slow down I will bite you on the leg.

"When you affect your speed you initiate a variety of side effects. For instance, as you progress you may one day notice a Doppler effect. Sounds will shift in pitch as you approach or recede. If you move quickly enough colors may even shift. However, that may not be for some time.

"What is relevant at the moment is that F equals m a. Force equals mass times acceleration. Ignoring air resistance, gravity, and area of impact, a twenty pound weight travelling at forty miles an hour will do the same amount of damage to one as a forty pound weight travelling twenty miles an hour. And that is the key!

"You see, when you speed up, if you are moving twice normal, then when you throw a punch, your target will think the impact is twice as fast, therefore twice as hard. But your hand will feel a normal-speed punch. Similarly, your opponent's normal-speed punch will feel half-speed to you. Increase the time rate and you increase the effect. Move fast enough, and a bullet fired at you will have no more effect than if it were tossed at you. Now, if you will excuse me..." The lecture actually took much, much longer, with Banny and Lissa's interruptions. But since nothing they said was relevant, or even sensible, we'll gloss over it. Mr. Fwuzzums went into the kitchen to drink from his water bowl, and his scotch bowl.

"Lissa, did you understand any of that?"

"Yeah. It means you get more cool powers."

Go to Chapter 22: Answers And Questions

Go to Chapter 24: Blooper Reels

Bring your friends into the Gonspiracy! Tell them about Banny And Lissa and get their eternal gratitude, and a chance to win $10,000 and a Sony DVD Player, because using your friends for your own personal enrichment, and having them owe you for it, is the gonner way!
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