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Sorry about the absence. I hope to be back by September 15 October 6, with a full explanation. Or, at least, a decent excuse.
Mr. Fwuzzums had traveled to his home plane of existence. Although he had to pass through some bizarre planes to get there, he didn't stay in any one more than five minutes. At home, he consulted with the pack Council on what to do about the Worthy Ones. They deliberated and he visited his puppies. He told them stories, but the stories he told were all about his adventures in other planes, and all true. The Council were forced to admit that they had no useful advice, but they would support him, whatever he chose to do.
* * * * * *
While Mr. Fwuzzums was off plane-jaunting, Nicoletta was home alone. This just supposed to be a quick run home, but she worried. Mr. Fwuzzums has returned from these runs terribly injured sometimes. Terribly injured.
She understood that a different plane of existence was not the same as an alternate universe, a parallel dimension. The latter was science, the former, magic. At the moment, Mr. Fwuzzums was simply imaginary. He did not even exist. Just as she, and the rest of her world, were imaginary to him. Nicoletta had an excellent grasp of the subtleties of Relativistic Magics.
She still worried.
Nicoletta did not have on her glasses; why would she need them? Actually, home alone, without even her dog to nag her, the tall young blind woman was naked, but the important thing is that she didn't have on her glasses. She had closed a kitchen cabinet door earlier, but not completely, and it had swung open. Now she was in the kitchen, making tea. She knew where the tea bags were, and with her cane, in her own kitchen, she could move quite rapidly.
She slammed face-first into the edge of the open cabinet door. Dropping her cane, reeling back in pain, she put her hands over the right side of her face. She sat, her naked butt on the cold floor, for a moment. A nasty cut on her eyebrow, but it shouldn't need stitches. A bloody lip, but minor. As soon as her head cleared she'd find her cane and get the first aid kit. But she did not lose consciousness, and did not have a strange dream while knocked out. Nor would the over-the-counter painkiller give her any hallucinations.
* * * * * *
Lissa had been quiet lately. She still worked for the Panderson Real Estate Agency, Marianne's secretary this month, and Marianne was teaching her patience. In three days Lissa has not yelled at her, FOR GOD'S SAKE, SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU STUPID COW!!! Instead, at work, Lissa used the computer to get rid of her frustations. No, not by picking it up and throwing it at Marianne's head, though both the computer and Marianne annoyed her enough that she could solve two problems at once. Instead she wrote fan-fic and posted it on-line under the name Running Deer (her middle name). In point of fact, she wrote stories involving a space-ship crew (from a tv series that had been cancelled years ago), and their encounter with the Exotic Space Princess Lin Irishi (Lin and Irishi are two more of her middle names). The stories feautured sex, violence, bondage, rape, torture, S & M, B & D, MM, FF, DLL, spoon-fondling, and an evil space dog named Mr. Smuzzuwf and his blind idiot slave-girl Riavroc.
The stories are surprisingly good, though all too often the author's agenda get in the way. But we can not reprint them here without violating copyright and pornography laws.
* * * * * *
Late one night, Banny dreamed.
There had been a nuclear war, only the government had kept it quiet so as not to disturb anyone, so most people didn't even know.
Banny and Tim were soldiers. Their uniforms were torn and ragged from years of fighting and they couldn't get new uniforms because there had been a nuclear war. Of course, since civilians didn't know about it, they could get new clothes.
Banny had had a gun, but it had been too heavy, so he got rid of it. Tim carried a bazooka, which he kept in a special quick-draw holster. Banny and Tim had to wander around the city, looking for mutants. The mutants would try to kill Banny, and Tim would kill them first.
Banny and Tim kicked in a door, and Banny went in. The front door apparently opened directly into the bedroom. Tim was gone, no longer a part of this dream. But on the bed, beautiful, in a white negligee, her light brown hair flowing almost weightlessly around her, whispering I love you, was Joanne. Joanne, the woman Banny had almost married two years ago. She was so sorry about the wedding, it was just a misunderstanding. And she was sorry she didn't write, she didn't have a stamp. Banny knew the war was over, and he crawled into bed with her.
Then she kicked him. Banny woke up, and realized Lissa had kicked him in her sleep. He hugged her and tried to forget his dream. But that was the only dream he had worth noting.
So this next story isn't a dream or an alternate world or a story told by one of the characters. But it's not 'official', either. It's just a simple lark. Enjoy.
Go to Chapter 66: This week suked!!!
Go to Chapter 68: This Is Why Colorization Is Evil
Bring your friends into the Gonspiracy! Tell them about
Banny
And
Lissa
and get their eternal gratitude, and a chance to win $10,000 and a Sony DVD Player, because using your friends for your own personal enrichment, and having them owe you for it, is the gonner way!
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Dave Lerner Stories (note that to use the mailto you'll need to edit it in your 'send to' window. I apologize, but I've already lost one address to spam, and if I get inundated again, I won't have time to read your letters.) - All Rights Reserved. Note that this includes images of the Tricryptogon, and the name "Tricryptogon".