"I can't believe that mean old bitch Miss Gulp wants to shoot you, Mr. Toto!" Melissy whined. "Are we allowed to say 'bitch' in this parody? And why in God's name am I wearing this ugly tablecloth for a dress?"

"I do not know, but looking at it makes me glad dogs are color-blind," said the german shepherd.

"Everybody's color-blind, ya dumb mutt!"

Auntie El started to shout at Melissy. (Yeah, this is Elizabeth "Lizzie" Panderson, but it's the nice fat Lizzie from two years ago, not the evil gonner) "Land sake's, girl, there's a hurricane coming. Land sake's, get to the cellar for safety. Land sake's!"

"But don't I need to talk to the farm hands, and meet that snake-oil salesman?"

Uncle Essenry was pale white, with no hair and bland features. He said, "what, you want to give away all the surprises the first day?"

Melissy said, "yeah, like we don't already know who the Scarecrow's gonna be." She cleared her throat, and began to sing. "Soooomewhere... over the Rai-"

"Cease that caterwauling this instant! Your singing voice will peel the paint off the barn! My ears will ache for hours! And it is pronounced 'somewhere', not 'soomeewhere'." They ran inside the house. "And watch that shutter!" The shutter flew off its hinges, smashed Melissy in the head. She went down.

The house apparently was a pre-fab, because it lifted off the ground in one piece. Melissy wondered what happened to the cellar. Outside people flew around casually, continuing their business in mid-air. New England weather forecasters talk up the slightest drizzle as a storm of biblical proportions and a few snowflakes as the next ice age, so when they say a hurricane is blowing outside, you just don't listen.

"Hey! We're in color!" she shouted.

"You were right." Mr. Toto said. "That dress does look like a tablecloth. By the way, what happened to your head injury?"

"I heal quickly. Say, can we just go back to a regular background and font colors? I'm getting a headache."