The Tricryptogon

Banny And Lissa
by Dave Lerner

Sorry about the absence. I hope to be back by September 15 October 6, with a full explanation. Or, at least, a decent excuse.


Lissa: La La La, I'm A Happy Cow.
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Part 2: New Friends And Old
Chapter 36: Show And Tell

There's never a unicorn around when you need one, thought Antonio. The counter-potion neutralized the demon's poison, but he was still bleeding heavily. Lissa helped him bandage the worst of the wounds, with the clothing the human-looking demons left behind. He could manage for now, as long as 'manage' meant just lie on the floor, and 'now' was no more than maybe an hour.

The remaining demon ran down the stairs. Had it hit the ceiling with its head it probably would just be a sticky spot dripping onto the floor, but a demon in launch spins enough that it hit with its upper back. A human would be paralyzed or dead, but the demon recovered completely before it reached the bottom stair. Where it stopped and waited orders.

Lissa relaxed to full human, her clothes were back. She helped Antonio into a chair. Most of the demon slime had dissolved, of course, but her T shirt and shorts were now drenched in his blood. Even the bathing suit underneath was soaked. This boy must have inside him enough blood for three people. Lissa decided not to tell him that. The last thing he needed was something else to boast about.

"Whoa," said Vanessa. "Okay, how you two been doing that? Moving so fast, and changing into a monster?"

The man glared at Lissa. "You are not a were-creature. I can recognize weres. You're too powerful to be witches, too 'good-guy' to be sorcerers, and too idiotic to be arcanists. What are you?"

Banny held up his finger with the Ring, the middle one. The insult was unintentional. "We're the Worthy Ones. We kill gonners."

Lissa held up the same finger, with more intent, and added, "and you two are gonners. How about that. I guess we know what happens now."

The man on the couch stood up. "The Worthy Ones have come into play! The Virago needs to know about this. I'd better report it, coincidently saving my own ass." He didn't shrink. He sort of looked like he was shrinking, his feet leaving the ground so he was floating, but somehow he was really moving a distance away. He got hazy and indistinct, like someone at a distance, not like a doll-size man just out of arm's length. He was moving away from everybody and everything in all directions. "Good luck, Vanessa." His voice was not a high-pitched doll voice, but rather the voice of a full-grown man just barely in shouting distance. "If you survive, be sure to let us know what you--."

She grabbed for him. Her arm did this really funky perspective thing, where it looked like it shrank and receded, even though it felt and moved the same. Less than a foot away, she could not reach him.

He was gone.

As the Worthy Ones approached her Vanessa shouted, "Wait! You can't kill me! I'm not a gonner, I'm a human. You can't kill humans, right?"

Lissa looked at Banny. "We can't? Why the hell not? What's the point of having these powers if we can't kill humans?"

Antonio spoke. His voice was not as manly and dramatic as he would have liked, and his thinking was still cloudy, but the fact he could speak at all had to count for something. At least, he hoped so. "She's a gon... gonner. She has that tattoo... you telled me about. Didn't she? I... I thought I saw a gonner tat. I did. I did saw a gonner tat. On her leg."

"You mean this?" Vanessa was wearing a long wide gypsy skirt and a T shirt that had been ripped down the front and tied. She raised the skirt high enough to show the tattoo on her inner thigh. And high enough to show she still didn't wear underwear. But you could see the tattoo if that was where you looked.

It was triangular. It was black. It was a pyramid, made of bricks. The bricks had cracks, as if the pyramid were ancient. It had a human eye, a right eye, not made of brick, just above the center. Next to it was a small ®.

It was not the Tricryptogon.

She seemed slightly embarrassed, and not because of how high she held her skirt. "That's the logo for Steve Jackson Games. What can I say, I like their stuff. I like Car Wars and I love GURPS. I'd never cared for Illuminati back when I was human, but now its my favorite."

Lissa said, "okay, you can drop the skirt now. You proved your point. You're a... did you just say 'back when I was human'? And Tony said he threw a knife into your eye, your eyes look fine to me. Right, guys? Drop the skirt so they can look at your eyes."

"Aw, crap! Yeah, is this what you wanted to see?" She untied her top, opened it wider than necessary, both sides. The gon was on her right breast, upside down, just below her dark nipple.

"Yup! Definitely! That's exactly what we wanted to see," said Banny. He looked over at Lissa. "I meant the gon! I swear it!"

Go to Chapter 35: More Fight! More Fight! More Fight!

Go to Chapter 37: Game Over

Bring your friends into the Gonspiracy! Tell them about Banny And Lissa and get their eternal gratitude, and a chance to win $10,000 and a Sony DVD Player, because using your friends for your own personal enrichment, and having them owe you for it, is the gonner way!
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