Banny And Lissa
by Dave Lerner

Sorry about the absence. I hope to be back by September 15 October 6, with a full explanation. Or, at least, a decent excuse.

Notes For Part 2: New Friends And Old

Chapter 25: May Cause Nausea, Fatigue, Dry-Mouth, Hysteria, And Death:

• This chapter title make a good slogan for this site?

Chapter 26: Alone, Lost, Dying, And Handsome:

• Debeenia speaks in white (#FFFFFF) Merlin, appropriately enough.
• There is a font called Unicorn, but I liked Merlin better for Debeenia.

Chapter 27: Meetings and Greetings:

• "After all, even a sprite could follow this trail."
  I hate to divide a set-up and a punchline over two days, but sometimes I have to.

Chapter 28: Everybody Wants To Rule The World:

• I was never a heavy drinker, and with my Depression and medication, I can't drink alcohol now anyway.

Chapter 29: A Sudden Need For A Secret Identity:

• Haven't we all had a sudden need for a secret identity at one time or another?
• Uh, you did catch what Banny has written on his cape, right?

Chapter 30: Hot On The Trail:

Chapter 31: Saturday, June 30th, 2001. Two Years Ago Today:

• I know you checked to see if two years ago today really was a Saturday, right?
• The priest is not meant to express my opinions on the Catholic Church, Divorce, Same-sex Marriage, or any other controversial topic. I have no opinions on anything. If you have an opinion, write an E-ditorial, a letter, or say something on the message board.
• Joanne's "I CAN'T!!!" is one font size larger than normal.

Chapter 32: When Banny Met Lissa:

• Obviously, I do not condone abuse in a relationship. Banny was not hitting Lissa, he was trying to punch, Lissa happened to be there, it was an accident. Banny is not abusive.
  Just thought you should know.

Chapter 33: A Very Nice And Helpful Pervert:

Chapter 34: Fight! Fight! Fight!:

• Antonio's second "YES!" is one font size larger. His 'so far away... so much pain, but so far away.' is one font size smaller, and his 'had to fight. not give up.' is two font sizes smaller.
• added July 5, 2003
  Corrected a few typos.

Chapter 35: More Fight! More Fight! More Fight!:

• "I hate coconut!"
  I don't like coconut, either. I'm in excellent company, by the way; the late Charles Schulz disliked coconut. That was why, in Peanuts, Charlie Brown and Snoopy both hated coconut.
• added July 5, 2003
  "'He slimed me.'"
  Come on. You were thinking it, too.

Chapter 36: Show And Tell:

• The man's "Good luck, Vanessa." and "If you " are one size smaller. "survive, be sure to let us know what you--." is two sizes smaller. Damn, I love playing with fonts!
• His disappearing is an elaborated version of Michael Smith's trick in Robert Heinlein's Stranger In A Strange Land.
• "I thought I saw a gonner tat. I did. I did saw a gonner tat."
  My only excuse is that I wrote that at 3 am.

Chapter 37: Game Over:

• "BOOM!!!" is Impact boldface, red (#FF0000), font size 7. Also, when you read it, you're supposed to shout it really loud.

Chapter 38: Time To Go:

• added July 15, 2003
  By now, no one in the room was surprised the dog could read Spanish.
  Were you?

Chapter 39: La La La, I'm A Happy Cow :

• added July 15, 2003
  Another title of which I am perversely proud.
• added July 15, 2003
  "In order for a cow or a lamb to be kosher, it's gotta be killed instantly. I mean no pain, no fear." This is actually true. Additionally, the animal must be free of blemish or injury, you can not eat meat and drink milk at the same meal... There's a lot more than just 'no pork'."

Chapter 40: Just A Light Lunch:

Chapter 41: Because Male Bonding Should Involve Guns And High Explosives :

• added July 15, 2003
  All I know is, I wouldn't call her 'Snippy'. Not to her face. Even before she got her powers.

Chapter 42: Life, The Universe, And Everything:

• added July 15, 2003
  The title doesn't fit perfectly, but what else could I call Chapter 42?
• added July 15, 2003
  Unlike Chapter 24: Blooper Reels this is canon. Anything that happened here actually happened to them.

Chapter 43: Evidence:

Chapter 44: NO NO NO NO NO!:

• Lissa's fourth "NO," is one size up. The last "NO!!" is two.

Chapter 45: Panderson Real Estate:

• added July 24, 2003
  Corrected a couple of MAJOR typoes. You may want to re-read this page now.

Chapter 46: Bad Guys Don't Giggle:

• Banny's "DAT'S DAH FACK, JACK!" is Stamp font. The sentence looks vulgar at a quick glance, doesn't it.
• in Lissa's "Normal people just aaa!!!-", the middle 'a' is up one, the last 'a!!!' is up two.

Chapter 47: Employees Of Panderson Real Estate (Summaries And Evaluations):

• added July 19, 2003
  I fixed a bunch of typoes

Chapter 48: Shampoo In The Eyes:

• added July 22, 2003
  I should have mentioned the squirrel-chase bruises. But she heals fast anyway. They're mostly gone.

Chapter 49: Different views:

Chapter 50 : The Naked Truth:

• CHAPTER 50! YAY!!!
• "I AM NOT EMOTIONAL, YOU FREAK!!!" is up one size.

Chapter 51: Banny And His Father:

Chapter 52: A Glimmer Of Hope:

Chapter 53: Don't Blame Us. That's Why They Call Them Bad Guys :

• added August 2, 2003
  I was a little woried about putting this one up. But, until now, we haven't really seen the gonners be truly evil, and we need to know that they are evil; they're not playing around.
• added August 2, 2003
  I don't particularly like iced tea. With or without spilt blood and brains.

Chapter 54: CSI (Coupla Stooges Investigate) :

• added August 2, 2003
  I kinda like this title.

Chapter 55: What A Mess:

Chapter 56: Food Fight:

• added August 2, 2003
  This "fight" scene still makes me laugh.
• added August 2, 2003
  "BOBBY, YOU SLEEPING FUDGE-HEAD EAR-HOLE!!!" is, of course, one size up. And SLA-SLASHHH!!!!! is two up.
• added August 2, 2003
  "w our ultimate goal? Bet you don't know it. I ca" is one font size smaller and "n give mundumnn..." is two.

Chapter 57: Hidden In The Mess:

• added August 2, 2003
  Actually, I had come up with this scene over ten years ago. Long before I thought of Banny, Lissa, the Tricryptogon, gonners, etc. In fact, when I played around with this scene, I kept having trouble figuring out how it could possibly happen. I finally got a chance to use it.

Chapter 58: A Long Way Down:

• added August 2, 2003
  It pulled out of the wall, and Farrington felllll.
  In the word "felllll." the e and each l is subscripted one level lower than the one before.

Chapter 59: Secrets And Lies:

Chapter 60: The Great Lesbian Experiment:

• Maybe if I'd called this story "The Great Lesbian Experiment" instead of Banny And Lissa I'd get a few more hits?

Go to notes for Part 1: Ante Up

Bring your friends into the Gonspiracy! Tell them about Banny And Lissa and get their eternal gratitude, and a chance to win $10,000 and a Sony DVD Player, because using your friends for your own personal enrichment, and having them owe you for it, is the gonner way!
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Copyright © 2003 Dave Lerner Stories (note that to use the mailto you'll need to edit it in your 'send to' window. I apologize, but I've already lost one address to spam, and if I get inundated again, I won't have time to read your letters.) - All Rights Reserved. Note that this includes images of the Tricryptogon, and the name "Tricryptogon".